Monday, June 25, 2012

dear spam

dear stupid french spammers -

here's a few tips for you:

~ i don't have a danske bank credit card, thus it would be pointless for me to update my credit card details using your link.

~ your spam mail about the use of my "dansk bank" credit card (see above) on a porn website might be more convincing if you didn't use google translate to write it, tho' that bit at the end about how you're just detecting weaknesses (or a burning sensation, depending on how you read it) in our society does show some understanding of the danish mentality.

~ i can SEE the email address you're sending from and it's not a danske bank email address.

~ oh, and danske bank is spelled with an e, not "dansk bank."

sincerely,

/j

p.s. are these lame spam attempts really working on people?

* * *

dear random people who keep asking to do guest posts on my blog,

it would be advisable to actually READ my blog first. in which case you will see that i don't really have guest posters, since no one else has the same insight into MY sanity and what might have a chance of preserving it as i do. this blog is about me working out what i think and feel about stuff. guest posts would kinda defeat the purpose of that.

blogging is, after all, cheaper than therapy.

sincerely,
/j

p.s. do you really get guest posting gigs this way?

p.p.s. you can have your own blog. they're even free, depending on the platform you choose.

* * *

dear people selling penis enlargment,

i don't have a penis.

sincerely,
/j

8 comments:

Elizabeth said...

very interesting!

:))))))))))))

Spilling Ink said...

i can spell danske bank without any problems and even though i think we sometimes share the same mind i have to turn down my own offer to guest blog on your blog.....or something like that.

i just love people, don't you/

Lost Star said...

mwah ha ha! :D
hilarious.
Actually, I have very little spam these days! With hotmail I got loads, but with googlemail, nada!

celkalee said...

You just can't help but wonder. We periodically have news reports about this person or that who followed through on such an email. Surprisingly, they seem intelligent, bright, actually wanting to do the right thing. That is the hook. If they get one in a thousand, they are ahead. Guest posts? really?

julochka said...

me too. I just intentionally looked in the spam inbox. it's funny sometimes. and there were like 8 of the danske bank ones!

julochka said...

the guest post people are truly random, it's so bizarre! one was a Nissan dealership in Ohio.

julochka said...

have you too been using your "dansk bank" credit card for porn? ;-)

julochka said...

there was a mail from "verified by visa" that was slightly more convincing, so I can understand it in a way...